A first grade student came to my clinic holding his finger, I looked at it and asked what happened.  He said, "A spider must have bit me and left his legs in my finger."  I assured him I would get them out and that it would be ok.  After removing the splinter from his finger and putting on a cool band-aid he went  back to class with a sticker and a smile. 

One of my delightful students came to the clinic looked at me and said, "You look pale." To which I replied, "Thanks!" the student then asked "Did you get enough sleep last night?" I replied, "I do have a new baby at home who likes to get up in the middle of the night." 
With a nod the student said, "That must be it."

I had a student come in to tell me that he was absent yesterday because he had a weasel in his throat.

I had a 4th grade student come into my clinic complaining of a headache.  He was not one I usually saw in my office so I was asking him all sorts of qustions and doing a quick assessment.  While taking his temperature I asked him how long his head had been hurting.  He thought for a minute, then he said, very seriously, "since Kindergarten."  It took me a minute to realize what he had said and when I did , I could hardly keep a straight face. I said, "Since Kindergarten?" He said, "School is one BIG headache!"

On a Friday morning a kindergarten student approached me, looked at me with great concern and asked why I was wearing jeans and not my "regular clothes" (scrubs).  He proceeded to ask me who was going to take care of the students that day.  I gave him a hug and assured him that I would take care of the students if they got sick or hurt.  He looked at me very puzzled and told me that I could not help anyone that was sick or hurt.  When I asked him why not, he told me because I was not wearing the right clothes!


A 4 year old little boy was brought to my clinic, his teacher told me that he would not stop scratching at his bottom.  We went into the bathroom and discovered just what I expected, he had not cleaned very well after his last bowel movement.  I gave him a wipe and we got him all cleaned up, I told him we would put some ointment on his bottom that would help it feel better he said no I need some bb pouer not sure what bb pouer was I asked him to repeat what he needed and he again said I need some bb pouer I told him I wasn't sure what bb pouer was but the ointment would help him feel better.  Using hand movements he told me you know bb pouer ... then it dawned, baby powder!

A first grade boy was looking at the April calendar and asked, pointing to the April 9th bad weather "make-up day",  "Teacher, what will the boys be doing when the girls do make-up?"


The school year had just started, carpets had been cleaned and the floors highly polished, the building was ready.  At lunch time all hands were needed to assist in the cafeteria to direct children to their proper tables.  As one young child came out of the lunch line he headed for the wrong area, I called out to him to come this way but since I didn't know his name to call out he kept walking - the wrong way.  As I took off after him I lost my footing on the glass like surface of the newly waxed floor slid down and was flat on my back between the tables.  In the quiet that ensued I heard "It's ok, she's not hurt, she's the school nurse!"   


One of my favorite 3rd graders showed up in front of my desk, no pass, no teacher with him.  Smiling, I asked him "Jeffrey, what is the matter this morning?" He told me "I have a headache"  I said "You do, where does it hurt?"  Putting his hand on top of his head he said "It must be growing pains, cuz it hurts right on top."