A second grader who is a frequent flyer to the nurses office came in and said "My tummy hurts, something is pushing."  I responded, "Pushing?"  She said "Yes, its kicking in my belly."  Little did I know, her class was growing catepillars to turn into butterflies and she thought it was time to let her butterfly out. 

Every now and then while doing vision screening I will ask a child to "read this line" and indicate the line I want them to read and they will say: "Defpotec" as if it is a word.  They scrunch their faces up as if to say "I am not sure I am pronouncing it right.  What does it mean?" 
I ask students to cover their left eye with their hand for vision screening.  After I test the right eye, I will ask them to cover the other eye.  Twice a student has stood there with hands covering both eyes.  The innocence is endearing! I try not to laugh out loud.

One of my students came to me for his daily medication on the last day before our Christmas Break. I left my lunch, washed my hands, and although it was not my usual protocol I did have the end of a candy cane sticking out of my mouth when I reached into the med. cabinet for the little cup that held his pre-measured pill. The child was watching me carefully.
He looked worried and asked if that was good for me to eat.  I assured him that while we don't want to eat a lot of candy a little now and again was ok.
This didn't seem to help and he said "but is it OK to eat?" I tried to rephrase my advice to stress moderation and the occasional treats being ok in the context of a healthy diet.
By now his mounting concern overwhelmed him and he blurted out "But it's a tree decoration!" He had never tasted a candy cane and in his mind it was the same as if I had a glass ornament or some tinsel in my mouth

A first grade student came to my clinic holding his finger, I looked at it and asked what happened.  He said, "A spider must have bit me and left his legs in my finger."  I assured him I would get them out and that it would be ok.  After removing the splinter from his finger and putting on a cool band-aid he went  back to class with a sticker and a smile. 

One of my delightful students came to the clinic looked at me and said, "You look pale." To which I replied, "Thanks!" the student then asked "Did you get enough sleep last night?" I replied, "I do have a new baby at home who likes to get up in the middle of the night." 
With a nod the student said, "That must be it."

I had a student come in to tell me that he was absent yesterday because he had a weasel in his throat.

I had a 4th grade student come into my clinic complaining of a headache.  He was not one I usually saw in my office so I was asking him all sorts of questions and doing a quick assessment.  While taking his temperature I asked him how long his head had been hurting.  He thought for a minute, then he said, very seriously, "since Kindergarten."  It took me a minute to realize what he had said and when I did , I could hardly keep a straight face. I said, "Since Kindergarten?" He said, "School is one BIG headache!"

On a Friday morning a kindergarten student approached me, looked at me with great concern and asked why I was wearing jeans and not my "regular clothes" (scrubs).  He proceeded to ask me who was going to take care of the students that day.  I gave him a hug and assured him that I would take care of the students if they got sick or hurt.  He looked at me very puzzled and told me that I could not help anyone that was sick or hurt.  When I asked him why not, he told me because I was not wearing the right clothes!


A 4 year old little boy was brought to my clinic, his teacher told me that he would not stop scratching at his bottom.  We went into the bathroom and discovered just what I expected, he had not cleaned very well after his last bowel movement.  I gave him a wipe and we got him all cleaned up, I told him we would put some ointment on his bottom that would help it feel better he said no I need some bb pouer not sure what bb pouer was I asked him to repeat what he needed and he again said I need some bb pouer I told him I wasn't sure what bb pouer was but the ointment would help him feel better.  Using hand movements he told me you know bb pouer ... then it dawned, baby powder!

A first grade boy was looking at the April calendar and asked, pointing to the April 9th bad weather "make-up day",  "Teacher, what will the boys be doing when the girls do make-up?"


The school year had just started, carpets had been cleaned and the floors highly polished, the building was ready.  At lunch time all hands were needed to assist in the cafeteria to direct children to their proper tables.  As one young child came out of the lunch line he headed for the wrong area, I called out to him to come this way but since I didn't know his name to call out he kept walking - the wrong way.  As I took off after him I lost my footing on the glass like surface of the newly waxed floor slid down and was flat on my back between the tables.  In the quiet that ensued I heard "It's ok, she's not hurt, she's the school nurse!"   


One of my favorite 3rd graders showed up in front of my desk, no pass, no teacher with him.  Smiling, I asked him "Jeffrey, what is the matter this morning?" He told me "I have a headache"  I said "You do, where does it hurt?"  Putting his hand on top of his head he said "It must be growing pains, cuz it hurts right on top."